Stalking is often a part of domestic violence, but it can also occur to people who do not have a relationship with or even know the stalker. I refer to victims of stalking as targets because that is how the stalker looks at them. Bull’s eyes have been posted on the front door of homes and on the side of vehicles.

Anyone can become a target as the obsession is based on the extreme emotional needs of the stalker if he/she is looking for someone to love. Any criminal who chooses a target, devises a plan, and commits the act has a similar dynamic.

An obsession can begin from looking across the room, hearing a voice on the telephone, seeing a photograph or any action that the stalker determines is a “sign” that this person is “the one.” It doesn’t matter if the target is married to someone else or any other situation as all the stalker sees is the “connection” that cannot be denied.
Obsession may begin at any age from young children focusing on another child and being coached by an obsessive adult to senior citizens.

In today’s world, electronic stalking is often a part of the plan to pursue the target. There are various reasons why a person becomes a stalker, including the thirst for revenge. Everyone should keep in mind that libel, writing something that is untrue, and slander, saying something that is untrue, still applies on electronics.
There is information that a person must know quickly if they are the target of a stalker. It is a sinister crime and can be difficult to handle.

Beware of the 90 Day Glow. Stalkers and abusers often rush into relationships and singles should keep in mind that it is a red flag. There are couples who have met and married within a few days and have been married for years, but that is the exception. When a couple is falling in love the petty annoyances of daily life don’t seem to bother them as much. At some point there should be an agreement that the relationship is progressing and consideration given to moving forward. Stalkers and abusers may continue to escalate in intensity and it can be difficult to live with someone who is constantly up and down emotionally. Obsessive jealousy is NEVER appropriate and is a huge red flag. That person has issues that need to be addressed. It can also lead to fatal intent if the target doesn’t respond appropriately.


  • Stop the Stalker by Betsy Ramsey is on Amazon Kindle. A free download of Kindle is available to electronic devices.
  • Betsy will review a stalking case if requested and make suggestions. Investigation and prosecution must be handle by local authorizes. Occasionally a case may become federal.
  • The National Center for Victims of Crime –  202 467-8700